Alessandra called for me to catch up and I shouted at her to just carry on! And with a small noise of indignation, she walked on.

We arrived at our destination at the entrance to some cave and by this time the sun had set and the darkness was quickly setting in. Also by this point the people who had taken the shrooms were definitely feeling the high and were laughing at things you wouldn’t usually find funny with wide eyed, gleeful expressions.

I remember hugging a big tree feeling my vision and senses vibrating, the forest was alive, everything pulsating.

As we all walked back in the almost total darkness, I decided to take my shoes and socks off to feel the earth beneath my feet and I found myself once again at the back of the group. I remember not wanting to use my phone light but have my eyes get used to the dark and feel my way along the path, just to totally absorb myself in nature. 

As I caught up with the group I noticed Alessandra was there and she was having difficulty walking in the dark going up and down some slopes and stepping across some fallen trees. She looked very taintative with her footing, nervous that she could trip and fall over.

I felt again anger come up which was from the night out 4 nights ago which was still unresolved. But this time I had some space to see it as it was and from this spacial perspective, something softened in me which lead to a thought, I love her. 

Shortly after seeing this, what I noticed as well when I looked at her was for some reason I saw her as a mother. Not as my mother but just the energy within her, the feminine nature in her as a strong and sensitive mother.  

This wasn’t a romantic type of thing, it was more like a simple truth of the matter: everything is OK, I just have love for her, and all tension and resentment I felt towards her dissipated. 

I didn’t say anything to her about what I had just experienced but instead gave her a hand walking through the forest, and shining my phone light on the path in front of her. I talked a little while with Sebastian after catching up with the line of mostly very high backpackers journeying through the dimly phone lit forest, and he was there splashing his feet in the puddles and mud, still with his shoes on! 

With a big grin he exclaimed: “What does it matter? My feet are already soaked anyway!

Laughing at the light, not giving a fuck mood, we finally reached the car park, the moon and stars shining brightly down on us. Here I asked if someone who wasn’t totally high could drive Sunnie for me and a sweet young German girl agreed to drive, so I handed the keys over and got into my bed in the back of the car.

This car ride was one of the most incredible experiences in my life.

Lying stretched out, tucked up underneath the covers of my own bed, in my own beautiful car that I loved and had shared many experiences with, it also being a miracle that I still had her (see Takaka – A CRash COurse).

Having someone drive for me whilst I so comfortably lay suspended on a spongey mattress, with my head either face first in my soft pillow or looking through the front window with the very real sensation that I was superman, flying head first through the night streets of Nelson listening to Flume – Never Be Like You. 

More than this though, I experienced such a deep sense of peace, a love of life, for everyone and everything in it, tears of joy ran off my cheeks onto my pillow. 

What continued to come up from this well of peace was feelings towards other people which I had held against them but actually was just holding in myself. From this I was inspired to get in touch with someone I used to be very close with and we are still keeping in touch as I write this.

Back at the hostel, we sit together in the kitchen around the big wooden table and I feel another wave of the drug hit me. I became overwhelmed with a feeling that I had been living recently with no sense of this love I was seeing, but living in a distracted, unappreciative way. 

I could feel a strong urge to burst into tears and so I quickly got up and left the kitchen to go outside for some alone time while I cried my eyes out… Breathing heavily, as though recovering from some intense cross country running rather than a slow meander through a forest, I sat outside while this energy flowed through me. 

My Israeli friends Ido and Alon came outside to check if I was ok. Through the strong emotion I was feeling, I attempted to tell them what I was going through. I talked of bringing our attention ‘back’ to the perspective I had in those moments, as I realised I’d spent so much of my time concerned about this and that, I’d forgotten who I was. 

You’re probably thinking: 

“Yep, Giles that is some classic high conversation right there, and you’re right, it was… But, it did also have a lasting effect on me. 

After I’d had time to settle down post magic mushroom high, I continued to be in a very clear state where I still felt very peaceful within myself. The tension that I’d held before had gone for good. 

This meant I was no longer upset with Alessandra and a week or so after our group mushroom trip, we had gradually become friends again and she and I went for lunch at East Street (an epic vege restaurant by day and a pumpin’ night club by night). 

She said she had noticed a difference in me, so I explained what had happened on the trip and how I had come to forgive her, letting go of any resentment and in it’s place was, I suppose what you’d call.. love. 

This was the first time I’d brought up this awkward topic of what happened that night.

She told me she was just having fun throwing the water, but once I kicked her, she was really shocked as she was reminded of a rough previous boyfriend, so became very upset with me.  

I apologised and also explained I too was shocked when she threw the water in my face because my understanding of that action is that it’s disrespectful, so I became angry and upset with her. 

Though she felt uncomfortable initially, she listened and saw that I was being very honest and was totally OK with her, so she responded by being totally OK with me again. 

From this point onwards, Alessandra and I (and Sunnie) spent 2 weeks travelling together from Nelson to Tauranga (Short Story Coming Soon) where we parted ways and she left to Australia with a working holiday visa; skip ahead 6months of being apart and we met up again in Singapore and then on to The Philippines where we spent a month over December-January, spending Christmas and New Year and sharing so many beautiful moments together!!

And that’s how Magic Mushrooms potentially saved a relationship and changed my life 🙂